Pull up a chair, make a cuppa, this may take awhile because a modern day Helen of Troy tale is unfolding in Hollywood, Spain and New York right now.
The story involves a love octagon between the supermodel, two pop stars, an actor, a billionaire, a wannabe pop star-slash-model ex-wife and a high-profile businessman.
And it reached its climax on Wednesday, when Lord of the Rings star Orlando Bloom took on lord of the brats Justine Bieber in an exclusive Spanish restaurant. Bloom’s slap is believed to be retribution for the 20-year-old singer breaking one of the 10 Commandments two years ago with Bloom’s then wife, Miranda Kerr.
Justin Bieber and Miranda Kerr reportedly met and connected backstage at the 2012 Victoria's Secret show. Photo: CBS
To recap, reports surfaced in November 2012 of Bieber, the Christian pop star who was discovered on YouTube by Usher, flirting with Kerr, a former Victoria’s Secret angel, backstage at the label's fashion show. Rumours of "sexy text messages and dates" followed, then Kerr and Bloom announced their separation last October.
In December, Kerr, 31, was linked to her old mate, casino mogul James Packer, who had divorced his second wife, fledgling pop star Erica Baxter, two months earlier. Packer and Baxter married in 2007, the same year Baxter released her last single, I Don't Feel a Thing,
Months of speculation followed as to whether Kerr and Packer were a couple - less than a year earlier, the Packers and the Bloom-Kerrs had all holidayed together in Tahiti.
James Packer and Erica Baxter arrive for Paul Ramsay's funeral. Photo: INF
In early 2014, Bloom, 37, was spotted sharing a cigarette on the street in Los Angeles with Bieber’s former girlfriend Selena Gomez, 22, while the pair attended Chelsea Handler’s stand-up show.
A fortnight after that, on May 4, Packer was accosted outside his Sydney home by his best friend, Nine Entertainment Group chief executive David Gyngell. The two slapped, grunted and wrestled each other for a number of minutes before three men separated them. The fight was allegedly the result of simmering tensions as Gyngell disapproved of Packer’s divorce and his apparent relationship with Kerr. Ironically a year before Gyngell and Packer enacted their soap opera-esque scene in Bondi, Gyngell cancelled Days Of Our Lives' 45-year run on Channel Nine.
Erica left her LA base to accompany her former husband to Ramsay Health founder Paul Ramsay’s funeral in country NSW on May 9. The pair comforted each other.
Packer then retreated to his luxury superyacht, The Arctic P, and Kerr joined him in Cyprus the following month. Their island getaway was never confirmed, but the model-turned-entrepreneur posted on Instagram photos of Mediterranean sunsets while quoting Socrates.
Packer’s former wife and three children joined him on board a few weeks laterand the couple appeared to be amicable.
Packer handed over the keys to the 88-metre vessel to Baxter, who headed to Spain where she was joined by Bloom. The pair were photographed strolling the streets of Formentera in Ibiza on Tuesday.
However, for never was a story of more woe than on Wednesday evening. While dining at the exclusive Cipriani, Bloom was reportedly taunted by Bieber.
According to Page Six, Bieber made some crude comments about Kerr, the mother of Bloom's three-year-old son, before yelling “What’s up bitch” across the restaurant. Bloom stormed over and attempted to hit him. The pint-sized singer was surrounded by bodyguards and appeared to cower away from the confrontation. He took to Instagram to post a photo of Bloom wiping his eyes.
Meanwhile, Kerr was promoting her latest venture as the face of 7 For All Mankind jeans. The new advertisement, released on Thursday, features her topless and rolling around on a bed, saying “I love them, I love them.”